Matt Seitz

Nancy and Jennifer
...

Matt is the co-creator of The Lucky Ones. Most people are fortunate to experience one great love in a lifetime, he had two. His first wife Jennifer and his second, her sister Nancy.

- My name is Matt. I'm a Co-Founder of The Lucky Ones. Most people are fortunate, to experience one great love in a life time, I had two. And that's why I consider myself one of The Lucky Ones. Nancy was a force of nature. I called her hurricane Nancy. On my phone she's identified as Foxy, because she was foxy lady, like in the best 1970s tradition.

- She never met a situation that she didn't think she could master. I'm the sort of person who naturally tries to take charge of whatever room I happen to be in. And it was impossible to do that with Nancy because of her life force. It was just so overwhelming, and I had to defer to her a lot of the time. And I'm gonna tell you the truth that turned me on. I did, and I was just surprised as anyone you know, but it was like she was Batman and I was Robin, like clinging on for dear life while the Batmobile roared around town. And it was amazing. It was fantastic. She and I had in common, more than anything else, a deep love for her sister, who was the most important person in our lives up to that point. Nancy's sister Jennifer was my first wife. She died in 2006. I met Jennifer in 1989, Southern Methodist University in Dallas, she was 18 I was 20. I fell for her immediately. Jennifer and I got married in 1994. I was an agnostic for most of my adult life. And then after Jennifer died, I became an atheist, because she was such a wonderful human being, and so caring and helpful, that I thought that any god would allow this to happen, or make it happen in the name of a higher plan, was not somebody that I owed my allegiance to. Shortly after her death, I began to experience events that I would say are inexplicable, by any scientific explanation, just not like Scooby Doo, like transparent ghosts talking to you and stuff, but I felt an energy like a tingle. And I always felt it on the back of my neck, and on my shoulders. At times when I was experiencing something I knew Jennifer would have enjoyed. But other times it came without warning. It wasn't as if I summoned it or I made it happen. It was always the most unexpected times. And sometimes it was when I needed strength. A lot of times I was slumped and defeated, I would feel that tingle in the back of my neck, and I would actually stand up straight. I felt it a lot over the years following Jennifer's death. And it began to make me think, that maybe there is something in this religion thing, that maybe there's a world beyond what we can sense and quantify. Now in the aftermath of Nancy's death, I'm tilting back towards agnosticism, or maybe belief. Because there are too many coincidences, and too many symmetries here to be explained. I don't know what it is, but there's something going on. Jennifer died on April 27, 2006-- four two seven. Nancy died 14 years later, the exact same day, four two seven, almost to the minute. And I married Nancy 27 years and four months, after I met her for the first time, when her sister brought me home, for Thanksgiving to meet the parents. I remember I told Nancy, couple of months before she died, we were lying awake in bed talking. And I said that, I was sad about what was happening to her, but at least she would get to be with her sister again. And she laughed and said, "You know I don't believe in that shit." But then few minutes later, she said, somehow her sister engineered our coming together. That maybe somehow her sister knew, that Nancy was gonna get terminal cancer, and she wanted me to be there for her. And for all of our children.

- Neither of us really realized, that we had a romantic attraction to each other. Until one day when we were looking at pictures of her sister, all the kids were asleep, and listening to music that she liked. It was Bob Dylan. And we started to make out. I guess, some people would think it's a little weird, that you start making out when you're looking at pictures of a dead person. But, you know,

- What aspect of this relationship was conventional? Really? My grandfather told me, that gifts are about proving that you were paying attention, and Nancy gave great gifts. And one of the best gifts she ever gave me, was when my MADMEN book was published. she sent me a framed print, with a bunch of fedoras, that looked exactly like Don Draper's hat. Nancy's youngest child, Phoebe came out to her as trans, when she was 11 years old. It was enormous adjustment for Nancy, but she threw herself diligently into the project, of being the best parent to a trans child, that she could be. She founded a charity called "Transform", which provides free donated clothes to transgender youth.

- Transform is a nonprofit in Cincinnati, where trans kids can go to get free clothes.

- I think what you're doing with Transform is incredible. I think you're gonna change Cincinnati.

- It's a terrific organization run by a terrific woman, Who's doing beautiful things, with her beautiful life.

- I wouldn't know if it was possible, to experience happiness after a loss of the magnitude, the one that I and my children suffered. I've been looking at pictures of me and Nancy together. I look absolutely dumbstruck. And almost every one of these pictures, I look like I've been hit in the head, with a cartoon mallet. And I actually thought to myself, Oh, this is what a happy person looks like. It's rough loosing that. But a lot of people go through their entire life, without experiencing one great love and I have had two. And that's why, despite it all, I consider myself one of The Lucky Ones.